A woman opens a door to a room, and shows in a young man. He enters, stiff and just a little afraid.

“Paul,” she says, “This is the Reverend Mother. She’s going to observe you.” The woman looks at the nun-like figure in the chair. “Please…” she pleads.

“Jessica, you know it must be done,” replies the nun. The young man’s mother leaves, and he looks at the nun.

“Come here,” she says. He comes forward and kneels beside her. She gestures to the box beside her.

“Put your hand in the box.”

“What’s in it?” he said, putting his hand in.

“Pain. More specifically, pain that serves. In this box, is your baby’s bottle. It’s filled with formula, made with boiling hot water. The hot water is necessary to allow the power to properly dissolve, but the water is too hot for your child to drink. So you must hold on to the bottle while you carry your sleeping child up to bed. No!” she cried, as he tried to pull his hand out, and he froze.

“I hold at your neck the Gom Jabbar, the consequences of your actions. Move, and your child wakes. Move, and you drop the milk. Instead, you must balance your child, the milk and your pain all at the same time, and ensure that all three functions are retained and balanced. A son of humanity knows of many consequences. This one punishes animals.”

“Are you suggesting a son of humanity is an animal?”

“Let’s just say, I am here to see if you may be human. You may be powerful enough to control your instincts. Your instinct will be to drop the boiling hot bottle. If you do so, you wake the baby, ruin the formula, and all will be lost. Let us begin.”

She closed her eyes, and says quietly, “You will feel an inching… and the itching will become a burning…There! Silence! Or you will wake the baby!”

The young man’s eyes widen with the sensation of pain.

“You can’t drop it,  because that would wake the baby,” she whispers, as the pain floods though his hand. “But you must hold on to it, as your baby needs it. Keep holding! Keep holding on! You’re nearly at the top of the stairs, and safe, but you’re  not there yet. Not yet! Not yet!,…Now!”

The pain abruptly stops.

“Good. Well done. Take your hand out of the box, and look at it, young human.”

He takes it out of the box, and finds the skin smooth and untouched.

“Pain by nerve induction. Humans can resist any pain, our test is crisis and observation.” She looks at him, and smiles. “You can go now.”

Stiffly, he stands, then goes to the door. Confused, he looks back.

“In my mind, that test would be different.”

“Really? Did you imagine a fancy implement, one that conveys importance along with its threat? Did you believe that you would be tested in ways that ensured your dignity, as well as your status?”

He nods, still confused.

“Human you are, but this is still an uncaring world. We are taught our lessons not during  great battles and epic tales, or by witches by a fireside, but instead in every day affairs, when what we must do meets and clashes with what must be. You, human, overcame the facts of reality to do what must be done. You are a human of heroic proportions, certainly, but so are your parents, and their parents before them. And so are those around you.”

She shifts in her chair, as she dismisses him. “Remember this, if you call yourself grand hero or leader of man. So, frankly, is everyone else.”

A few thoughts regarding the recent news items about the CRC funding.  Not only is the entire board not good at it’s present, expected role, that of properly managing the Clinic properly, but they are doing a worse job than if someone else was doing it. Right now, they are a big liability for the Clinic receiving funding again from the public.

Paul Kiely is a bad person. Bad not only in the role that he held, but morally bad. He had no goodness to him at all. Perhaps he does not kick cats or spit at children. But he is a bad person. I would put him of a lesser evil than a child rapist, but certainly worse than a bored mechanic whose poor work ethic sees a car crash. He is not a good man and it is doubtful that he cares about that. After all, only the poor need to care about others, it would appear.

Paul Kiely. A bad man.

Of course, the nature of all this is that their success is another hallmark of their nature; they will never pay the money back or be accountable for it. But it is refreshing to note, out loud, my reaction to their actions like this. Insidious thieves that they are, may they have the curse of one day knowing themselves without qualification.

A wonderful post showing George Orwell’s thinking about Nationalism. Ireland gets an honourable mention too.

I must say I believe, or fear, that taking the world as a whole these things are on the increase. Hitler, no doubt, will soon disappear, but only at the expense of strengthening (a) Stalin, (b) the Anglo-American millionaires and (c) all sorts of petty fuhrers of the type of de Gaulle. All the national movements everywhere, even those that originate in resistance to German domination, seem to take non-democratic forms, to group themselves round some superhuman fuhrer (Hitler, Stalin, Salazar, Franco, Gandhi, De Valera are all varying examples) and to adopt the theory that the end justifies the means. Everywhere the world movement seems to be in the direction of centralised economies which can be made to ‘work’ in an economic sense but which are not democratically organised and which tend to establish a caste system. With this go the horrors of emotional nationalism and a tendency to disbelieve in the existence of objective truth because all the facts have to fit in with the words and prophecies of some infallible fuhrer… 

From; http://www.openculture.com/2014/01/george-orwell-explains-in-a-revealing-1944-letter-why-hed-write-1984.html

Sinead O’Hart, who is so brilliant she practically makes flourishes with a cape, has nominated me – yes, me! – for the Liebster Award. She has been nominated too, which means that she has rightly had her general marvelous-ness recognised. All I have to do is answer the questions she posted on her blog. I’ve taken the rollers out of my hair, wiped the yogurt off my face, sat up straight and am now ready to give it a go:

What is your favourite smell, and why?

My favourite smell is the smell of butter in a frying pan, melting away. My husband does all the cooking in our house and many the time I’ve popped my head out of the sitting room to brightly exclaim, “What’s that? It smells wonderful!” He would then turn, look at me blankly, and say, “Butter. In a pan. Are you alright?”

One of the offshoots of the baby was a very strong sense of smell, that meant I could pick up things other people didn’t even notice. It’s the same now, I can identify things much more quickly than others, it seems. To my nose the smell of butter on a pan is a perfect base note. It is neither sweet nor savory,neither cloying or sour, but instead is very much a smell from memory, and my own Mum cooking in the kitchen. There are very few chances to go back in time, but that smell almost allows it for me. Butter in a pan, melting, bubbles bursting with the heat and rush of a busy kitchen, dinner or dessert on the way- that is a smell of home for me.

What object in the world would you most like to own?

Right now, I would like to have a full drivers licence. I’ve taken the test three times, and the last time failed it on observation alone. Let that sink in; the reversing around a corner, the three point turn, all of it perfect, and he failed me because I didn’t look around enough. I was a big pregnant lady at the time, and the hormones when I failed meant I was trying not to cry, so I can add mortification to that memory as well. The test is now a huge deal in my mind. The year I failed, I had helped write and produce a musical based on my book, work on a masters and move house, as well as bring a healthy baby into the world. But every time I have a test, some lizard part of my brain makes me nervous with the thought YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL YOU FAILURE YOU! HOPE YOU’RE READY TO FAIL!!! OH LOOK YOU’RE FAILING WHAT A SURPRISE!! and I freeze.  If they would let me buy one, I would be sorely tempted.

If you were a number, which number would you be – and why?

The number eight, or 8. It’s got curves, like me. It reminds me of the Infinity symbol. It also reminds me of the priestess in Tarot cards, it seems a feminine number. It also contains two and four, and it is the number of my family of origin. It can be a star – * – on the modern keyboard.  So Number 8 for me.

The High Priestess, from Wikipedia

What is your biggest regret (if it’s something you can share)?

I didn’t take my Mum to Rome. She loved Roman Holiday, she was the same build as Audrey Hepburn as well. Time got away on us and I think I was worried we wouldn’t get on. And she passed away before we could. So, shame on me for that one.

Audrey and Gregory in Roman Holiday. She loved that movie.

Plus, I tried very hard to be a solicitor at one stage of my life. I passed all the FE1 exams (very hard and very expensive exams) and worked for nine months in a very large solicitor’s office. But the workplace environment was so hostile I nearly became ill, and they just threw too much at me to take. So I had to admit I wasn’t good enough, a failure I will always feel, I suspect.

What are you most afraid of?

The mindless carelessness we all have as we go about our day will one day see me not take due care of my son and he will end up hurt or worse.  By turning to lock a door, being too late to the creche, not looking as he goes, I will not see danger and he’ll end up hurt or worse with only a useless mother to blame.

Added to that, having success placed upon me (i.e. a book deal, for example) and with that exposure being revealed to be a huge fraud with zero talent or character. Your basic nightmare, really.

What is your favourite piece of visual art (i.e. not music, literature, theatre), and why?

This one;

It is Ginevra de’Benci, and the portrait was painted to commemorate her wedding at 16. She was regarded as an intellectual, and the painting shows a young woman, in fact a teenager, who is a stark beauty. She is intelligent, but not fawning, and the distinction is refreshing. Plus she has hair the same colour as my own, so I feel an affinity towards her on that basis alone.

Tell me about the best dream you ever had.

Once, I had a dream that revealed to me the cause and purpose of life. It showed me the reason we are all here, and explained to me what I needed to do to have eternal, rather than a corruptible, life. It has led me to certain conclusions and it has created an internal mythology for me. And I’m tell you nothing further about it, mwahhahahhhahahah!

If you could be anyone, from any historical period, who would you be – and why?

This is such a  interesting question. I’ve written a novel, call The Stone, all about an historical figure. Her name was Alice Kyteler, and she lived through a rather horrible time in history. The sheer violence of that time is hard to convey, but suffice to say I think I will let her lie in the arms of History for now.

People in power rarely live lives of peace and joy, and the person who lived the happiest life on earth was probably some ignored wife of a functionary who earned just enough to never worry about money, but not enough to have her dreams grow to egotistical heights. (That sounds like Anna Karenina, so lets move on!) My own wish would be to live in luxury, living a life of the mind, and to have accolades aplenty to keep me going – lying on a chaise lounge, dictating to some cardiganed young woman, while nibbling on macaroons. I think I want to be Barbara Cartland (boggle).

Jaaaaysssuus..

I have managed to complete this blog over two days, and right now the little man is in a high chair yelling his head off and throwing things at my head, so I had best get on. Hope you’ve all enjoyed this blog, and if you have any other questions for me do let me know.

According to at least one colleague, I was born in the wrong century. This is a very nice way of saying I am as dull as a dust covered dead duck. Nonetheless, I am at one with my nerdiness and dullness, I need no sympathy.

I am, however, going to show you people some lovely music, that you deserve to listen to. These three pieces are at the moment what I listen to on the way to work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6yuR8efotI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j23VuKkqits

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrEMHDgN5dI

And because I am enigmatic and mysterious, I will give no hints as to what they are. You will have to click on the link. It’s madness, I tell you!

Would dearly love to hear your favorite pieces as well. Have at me, dear reader.

I want it to be like this.

If you are a fan of Naria, you’ll enjoy this:

I want to read about Susan finishing out boarding school as a grown queen reigning from a teenaged girl’s body. School bullies and peer pressure from children and teachers who treat you like you’re less than sentient wouldn’t have the same impact. C’mon, Susan of the Horn, Susan who bested the DLF at archery, and rode a lion, and won wars, sitting in a school uniform with her eyebrows rising higher and higher as some old goon at the front of the room slams his fist on the lectern….

http://ink-splotch.tumblr.com/post/69470941562/there-comes-a-point-where-susan-who-was-the