In a press scrum today, a Government spokesmen confirmed that legislators were waiting for the male population of Ireland to agree before it allowed women to have abortions.

“It’s very simple,” he said, “we merely need to have consensus among the men of Ireland before we decide to listen to women. Look, we all know they’re mad altogether, with the the moods, and the tears, and the fantasies. Once all us sensible people agree, then there will be agreement on how to roll it out to them, without them loosing the head on it.”

“This way,” he continued, “we can ensure it’s done without making the men of Ireland angry or annoyed with the Government.  If men are mad, then that’s really bad for us, what with them dominating the Church, politics and all of society. You do know that they make up 75% of the population, right?  And if women forced us into it, what about our right to do as we decide we need? Can’t be having that. Wimmen, am I right, lads?”

At the time of writing, the government of Ireland was looking at it’s hands, whistling, and not answering it’s phone….