Just learned of a friend who has left his girlfriend of ten years. He was a father-like figure to her daughter who is getting married, and he (not his girlfriend, mind, but he) was paying for the wedding. Now all that is off.

He’s just discovered that the deadbeat father of the bride, not him, is walking her down the aisle and giving her away, a matter of enormous pain and outrage to him. The music is including all of deadbeat Dad’s taste, and to top it all the menu includes two items my friend is allergic to. To add to his sense of outrage, the twenty or so people he had given ‘Hold The Date’  details to, didn’t get invites. They got the date reminders, but no invites. And the invites that did go out? They didn’t have his name on them. Deadbeat Dad and Girlfriend are delighted to announce….

“Ah, my PFO has arrived….”

He is shaking with fury as a result of all this. He’s no longer willing to pay for the wedding, to the extent that he has cancelled deposits. It’s cost him about €1,500 but he has no regrets. His girlfriend is furious with him, and he equally with her, they are splitting up on the strength of this. He’s moved into the office bedroom and they’re making arrangements to move out.

I’m astonished at how quickly all this has come about. But I have to agree with him. This seems to show that he is seen as a facilitator, or a bank, rather than a member of the family. They’ve  behaved terribly, and they can’t even see it.

What do you think? Should he have paid, and stayed silent? Raised concerns, but still paid up? And would you have split up with your partner, on the strength of it?